05/04/15 Location/exhibition space

Following the change of idea, I have recently spent time thinking about how I will now present my work. Now that I will only be using one screen, it has made it much easier to plan the exhibition. It was suggested that I consider a tent, or booth, so I can design the surroundings of the screen/s and further influence how the audience feels during the piece.

 

I began looking into pods, sheds, tents and domes. The two pictures below are from Shelter Solutions and Pacific Domes respectively. The first has an art installation inside it, and the second is an art studio.

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These are the kind of structures I was researching to begin with, but I soon realised they were not what I was after. Both are probably the smallest size you can get, and I would like something a lot smaller, preferably only fitting one person at a time. This led me to start researching smaller pods and sheds (mainly sheds, Googling variations of ‘pods’ wasn’t that helpful), and I came across small outdoor storage boxes for garden equipment.

 

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I’m not sure I would submit the viewer to crawling into a tiny box and not having a proper seat to sit on, but I would like a similar experience. However, they were just what I was after: isolating, cramped, dark and uncomfortable. Additionally, it would have the extra feeling of being isolated whilst surrounded by people, a very common feeling for those with mental health problems. If no one understands what you’re going through or how you feel, it can feel very lonely despite having a lot of friends around you, even if they’re offering help.

 

If I could find a slightly bigger space, I could line it inside, make sure as little light as possible was coming in and have a TV, iMac or screen of some sort in there.

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These are some of the other options I found, which are a bit more like what I’m after, but they still might not be tall enough.

 

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This one above is a lot taller, but not as wide. Having a taller space would allow people to walk into it normally, and would have plenty of headroom for taller folks sitting down. I could also hang some kind of drape from the ceiling to surround the viewer, which would cut out any light coming through the wood. This would have to be attached to the wall in several places so it didn’t pull the screen off it’s surface, but I can’t see that being a problem.

14/03/15 “I Have OCD” video

I came across this video today, re-posted by a friend who suffers from depression (and was expressing her delight at something created so close to the truth, even though she does not suffer from anxiety herself), which was a POV film piece of the life of an OCD sufferer. The camera filmed the morning routine of the character – a factual ‘script’ from the person who created the film – while a chaotic dialogue played over the top.

I really like this piece, not only because I found a lot of truth in it myself, but also because it wasn’t trying ‘too hard’. The clip is realistic, it used simple overlaying of dialogue rather than delay to create a sense of chaos and panic, and it successfully made the audience feel as though they were in the shoes of the character. It has influenced my thoughts for this project, and it will come across in my scripting as well as editing.

Although I found this post on my Facebook wall, it comes from a site called The Mighty, which is a base for people to blog, discuss, share experiences, create content for and learn about all sorts of mental health. I will be looking at more of this website in the next few days.

 

07/03/15 – Technical equipment

After a suggestion that they could offer help, I went to speak with Andrew Armstrong and Steve Young, both video tech assistants, about the visuals elements of my project.

My initial idea was to have 3 televisions screens sitting next to one another, each playing a different story/film. I hadn’t thought about anything connecting them, or feeding them the film via HDMI or similar, as I was waiting for confirmation of a space, and also these discussions, as I didn’t know how three films could be synced up.

Steve suggested 3 films edited next to each other so they could play at the same time without having to worry about the clips playing at different times. This could then be played through a projector without having to worry about different screens playing at different times. However, this wouldn’t work in the sense of it being an exhibition piece. I really want to have 3 completely separate stories which are only similar in their filming/set style and message at the end of the films.

Neither of them could think of a way to play three films on three television screens without having three laptops, so the option was put forward of having three iMacs instead. Each could have one film saved onto it, and it would simply just need to be played (through VLC Player was suggestion). This would save having to have a separate laptop form which to play the video.

Andy also mentioned that I’d need to speak with Mark Alridge about using Macs if I need to move them between buildings.

Previous to speaking to Andy and Steve, I briefly spoke to Mike Downing about using the photography studio for filming. He mentioned three LED lights which would be perfect for creating the right effect, and he is happy for me to film in there without instruction provided I have a media student/grad in there to lend a hand.

07/03/15 – Researching miscarriage

I started my script research by looking at miscarriage, particularly blogs written by women who have had miscarriages in the past. Some of them are written as they go through it, some a reflection on past events, all of them moving and inspirational. Even though I’ve already started writing some of the scripts, I feel it is imperative to have some research about the conditions I am writing about from which I can write or alter the lines.

I started with Diary of a Miscarriage. This woman writes a lot about her interactions with her other children, husband, family and friends, and how she managed to get through two miscarriages. After posting very frequently after the first miscarriage, or “never born” as she refers to them, her posts become less regular and end up being annual posts on the day she lost her first baby. It wasn’t surprising that she still felt “melancholy” even five years on, and I think it is important to convey that within my piece. Even though many years had past, and that she had had three healthy children since then, she was still affected by the reminder of those events. As my piece involves the recovery within each story, it is vital that I portray these continuing feelings amongst the road to recovery.

How to Cope With A Miscarriage

http://www.amandakern.com/blog/my-miscarriage-experiences/

02/03/15 – Research of mental health awareness campaigns

Over the past few years, there have been several adverts on television, radio, and on posters in various locations on the topic of mental health. Some aim to educate, others to support those who are suffering from a mental illness, a few provide answers to questions or places to go for information, and some simply have the message “just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist”.

I began looking through Youtube for the adverts about the topic of mental illness. The first one I found was an entry to HeadsUp, a video campaign for good mental health, called “We All Have Problems“. The film has no sound at all apart from what we assume to be the internal dialogue of the female in the footage. The character appears to be waiting for someone by the side of the road, and while she’s there, various thoughts start running through her head: “Will my parents ever separate? Would I live with my Mum or my Dad?” “I look horrible” “I’m going to fail my resit”. The piece is two minutes long, and the sound (dialogue) begins to build up over the two minutes, getting more and more frantic. I like the idea of just having the dialogue, because very often when your mind is racing like that, you can’t hear anything else – physically or otherwise.

However, the actress who’s voice it is has a fairly strong accent which, when couple with the delay effect, make it very difficult to hear what she is saying. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I also didn’t like many aspects of the script. It makes the problems sound very childish, and most are worries that a lot of people have – not passing exams, not liking their appearance etc etc, so wasn’t believable. It lacked the intensity that those with mental health often feel, especially as this video’s aim was to put the listener in the shoes of the character. Thoughts of the character often drifted randomly between subjects, instead of obsessing over singular details or potential outcomes which is the more common reaction (not in all cases though). I think the delay effect also didn’t come across how the filmmakers wanted it to – to me, it seemed less human, and more difficult to identify with her. It can be difficult to get across just how it feels when someone is having a panic attack, or feeling intensely stressed about something, yet no one can hear an echo in their own head! I think I would just record a lot of dialogue, have it playing one after the other, and interject it with screaming/rapid breathing. Sometimes in a panicked state, you’re not thinking about anything in particular, so you only experience the intense feeling of stress, instead of thinking.

The video “What You See/What You Don’t See” takes a different approach. Instead of putting you in the head of a character, it consists of a selection of people of several races, ages and genders talking to the camera/the viewer/the audience about themselves. Each character begins by introducing themselves as who they are to the person they are address (e.g. father, sister, student) and what they do for a living (e.g. stay-at-home Mum, construction worker, volunteer). This acts as a connection tool, as nearly everyone has one of the family members listed, and or knows someone working in these fields. Additionally, with such a wide variety of people, it further suggests that anyone could be suffering from a mental illness. It follows on to have the characters tell the camera something about themselves (e.g. loving, funny). Mental illness (in the case of this video, depression) is not always in the forefront of people’s lives, and it doesn’t turn them into a horrible person who forgets how to be a normal human being. Each character explains briefly what it feels like to have depression, but the film doesn’t dwell on it. It’s focus is the beginning and end, which consists of each character addressing the person they most want to talk to about it, who they want to understand what it’s like, and then finish by explaining that they’re still normal people, and all they need is a bit of extra support and understanding.

The film I produce will be a mixture of these two.

To be continued…