Here is the work in progress script, not far off finished. The sections in bold I asked Sam (the actor) to repeat several times with different emphasis. This is to experiment a little so I can choose my favourites when editing, and also because these phrases are ones I would like to overlap and repeat. I didn’t want to repeat the same piece of dialogue, because that would sound unnatural.
This is not the script, as it will be in the film, this is just a collection of related ’emotive’ phrases. These will be added into more of a story.
There is swearing in this version, because I didn’t know whether I wanted it in or not. It’s something I could take out later if it doesn’t fit. However, a lot of people, when overcome by anger or sadness, swear ‘naturally’. They use swearing to express themselves further, when other words fail them, and do so almost as an immediate reaction. I wanted the anger to sound authentic, and when we tried it at the start of the session, some of it sounded more natural with the swearing. Again, though, still not decided whether to keep it or not.
Script
(Happy)
It’s really warm outside today. I think I actually feel good/ok this morning. I’ll go and buy thing to make a curry instead of ordering in. Takeaways always make me feel crap.
Makes a change to feel like this.
Oh, a text from Billy. Maybe I do have people that care about me. Maybe they do care. I might invite the guys over later, haven’t seen them in a while. I thought they’d hate me after cancelling on drinks last week. It’s not so bad after all.
I should go and see that new Chris Pratt film in the cinema, it looks really good. The trailer looked interesting, and Rachel said it was brilliant. It will be good to go outside.
I’d almost forgotten what feeling like this/ok? Good? is like.
I wonder how Ted’s getting on with his new job. I should text/message [say both] him later to see how he got on. Maybe we could hang out sometime next week.
I feel good. I actually feel good. Maybe not quite happy, but good. It’s/that’s a start, right? It doesn’t all feel so bad anymore.
(Upset – & angry?)
[upset, frustrated, almost whining] No one is listening to me. They don’t understand. I can’t do this by myself. I’ll ruin everything. I can’t do this alone.
Why do I have to feel so broken? What is wrong with me? I don’t know what to do. I’m a mess. No one can help me. I’m doing it all wrong. I’ll screw everything up. I’ll ruin it.
[REPEAT and improvise certain lines like yesterday.] I’m so shit etc etc.
(Upset/depressed)
What’s the point? If I get up, I won’t be able to do anything, so why should I bother? I’m so pathetic. No one will care if I don’t get up. There’s no point. I don’t care.
Why do I feel like this? I don’t understand. What can I do?
I don’t want to eat. There’s no point. Why bother? No one will care. I don’t care.
I wouldn’t want to be around me, so why would anyone else? I’ll stay here. At home. Not surrounded by people who don’t understand. There’s no point. I don’t care. I don’t care anymore.
Even if I try to fix it, it won’t work. I can’t do anything. This is useless. I’m useless. I ruin everything.
Stop trying to make me feel better. It won’t work. They won’t even care.
(Angry)
[frustrated, but not shouting] Stop ignoring me. Help me. Why won’t you help me? I’m too weak. I can’t do this.
I don’t know what to do. It’s not my fault. Or it is, I don’t know. No one understands. You don’t know what it’s like.
What is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong me? I’m so stupid. I feel shit. I’m shit. This isn’t normal. Why do I have to be crazy? Why can’t I be normal? Stop asking me if I’m ok. Of course I’m not ok. I don’t need any help. Go away. Leave me alone.
It’s my problem. No one can help me. No one will want to help me. I’m so pathetic. [softer] I don’t know what to do. [Repeats don’t have to be shouting] It has got nothing to do with you. It is none of business.
[shouting] Leave me alone. Listen to me. Get out of my face. You will never understand. What is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong me? Stop asking me if I’m ok. Of course I’m not ok. I don’t need any help. Go away. Piss off. Fuck off.